Finding Your Passion and Sticking to It

When our family dinner got disrupted by two realtors going door to door to introduce themselves to drum up business, my husband and I pondered how hard it must be to do this job. It takes a long and dry road until one sale comes through and results in a pay check for them. I thoughts I could not do this ...

The reason why not is not a lack of abilities but because this is not my passion. Were it my passion and goal, I would not mind the many steps it takes to the finish line. What I am passionate about is my coaching business. A client on her own search for her passion and occupation remarked to me that I mentioned once to her how much I love helping people and that I must enjoy having found what I truly love to do.

This is made me think. I have found it, and I am grateful for it, for I had my own share of high ability/low passion positions (those are hard to leave, since it does not seem logical to do so). We all need that spark and that drive behind what we are doing to make it - not only bearable - but worthwhile, fun, fulfilling. It gives us a feeling of accomplishment, respect for ourselves, we feel balanced and are better at finding balance.

Signs that we are living our passions are:

- getting up in the morning plotting what we will do today and eagerly fitting the pieces together, coming up with new and creative solutions (even in jobs that at first sight seem boring)
- laughing at our own mistakes on the way and quickly incorporating what we have learned from them
- not counting every detour we must take, every do-over, but staying focused on the goal
- loving to share and talk about it if someone asks us to explain what we do, even if its because they are interested and might want to start doing that too
- seeing possibilities to expand, develop further, change
- not counting the hours spent on it, but rather sculpting the outcome and doing what it takes to get there without complaining or trying out shortcuts that are doomed from the beginning
- feeling gratitude for where we are in life and curiosity where it will take us next

I wish you much success in living your passions and hope you don´t give up if you are not quite there yet. Being passionate is an essential part of being. Do not tolerate living passion-less. Go find them and thrive!

A Passion For?

Growing up in rural Austria of the 70ies, I did not hear much talk about passion from parents or teachers. Looking back though, I was already living them from very early on and chances are, so were you. As adults, our passions can help us during days, when things seem difficult or even dire and make us or break us in times of grief and transition …

Sitting on my beloved swing-set, watching snow melting away and snow drops break through the ice, inspired me to come up with my first poem and sang it over and over, so that I remember it to this day. At 13 I won the writing competition in my school. Writing carried me through transitions of moving away to college, break-ups, as well as helped me stay compassionate and yet unattached enough to the sorrows of my 10 000 callers at my my job at a psychology helpline. Yet, it took decades before I became conscious of being a writer and developing that passion further (as in this blog, my columns, published articles).

Another passion of mine showed up in my favorite childhood play, which was helping imaginary customers choose patterns for their homes from my napkin collection (which were the samples). I remember that I wanted to help them be happy with their environment and themselves. Being a psychologist and life coach is the adult translation of that passion to help people be happy with their lives, and a big part of who I am today.

These are two examples of passions showing up early in life and playing key roles throughout the life-span. We all have them. It is as if it is instilled in us and we are happiest if we make them conscious enough to incorporate them into our current lives and continue to develop them.

I have seen stamp collecting carrying people through times of grieving for a deceased parent, cooking and gardening being the only reason for someone with depression to get out of bed, singing help a client overcome stuttering in one case and decrease shyness in another. A friend overcame her "empty nest" with marketing her desired cookies and selling them on farmers´ markets, another one redefined meaning in life after years of infertility treatments by reconnecting with her passion for crafts and opening an online store with her handmade items.

We don´t need to turn our passions into a profitable business or make them even pay for themselves. What they add to our lives is far more valuable than money. They bring balance, fulfillment and meaning to our days short- and longterm and are invaluable times spent in our days.

It can be tempting not to see their intrinsic value and rationalize them away, after all, we are always too busy already. I strongly advise you to make them a priority and make sure your passions have a presence in your life. It may take some time and prompting to reconnect with them, but they will resurface.

Start with 2 questions:
What was your favorite childhood play? What did you want to be as a child, when your grow up?

May the passions run strong in you.

Courage - A Necessary Ingredient We All Have

Unconventional, without compromise, ambitious, or even stubborn have been words used describe me concerning my choices in life. I could subscribe to any of these terms. But one day, a dear friend added courageous to the list. It took me years to see that for myself, because

I grew up thinking that there were fearful people and there were courageous people, and we all just fell into either of these categories. Knowing myself and the many fears and agonies that any of my choices were accompanied with, I was certain I was of the fearful kind.

One day I heard an interview of a person I highly admired - mainly because of their courage. There this person was talking about his fears, and how this admission was often met with surprise. But he stressed that there was no such thing as a person without fear. Courageous people simply acted despite of their fears.

This statement set me free. I felt like my self appointed fear-category persona lifted up into the air. I knew instantly I could be a courageous person. All my choices so far were not enough to make me belief in my courage. It was this simple random statement on a random day.

I started looking for the courage hidden in all of my life coaching clients. I started seeing it everywhere. No matter what their past, their current situation, their outlook on future. Courage is always an option. We can always walk through our fears and thus leave them behind. Experiencing fear does not mean we are a fearful person.

It is such a thrill encouraging people to walk through their fears, head high and truly taking in the courage it takes to do that. It is easy to stay home and not show up for the event, the moment, the choice, the action that we are afraid of. But it feels so great to show up and no matter how the outcome is, we can at least say that we have tried. That alone is such a satisfaction, such honest and strong statement. It creates the basis for decisions in the future. Not showing up makes showing up next time yet a little harder, and so it goes.

Showing ourselves the courage that lies in us is such a moment of feeling alive. Mind you, I am not talking about risking our lives or engaging in any thrilling activities. It can take courage to show up at a meeting alone, to speak up in a group of people, to sing at a karaoke bar (yet to be walked through by me). Whatever it is, I encourage you to challenge yourself ever so slightly and enjoy the act of doing it.

We learn so much about ourselves in situations like that. It feels wonderful. Alive! It has once been said that we have only to fear fear itself. I take that as "Only be afraid of not showing up for your life".