Column: Back to School

What Is Wrong - Really?

The other night I could not sleep because of worries. Once
I started to inspect these worries I had to admit that they had little grounds
to stand on, and that my phantasy had taken off with me...

There I was: In the middle of a wonderful vacation in Europe, having time to hike in the Austrian Alps, adoring the golden glory of the fall foliage and being able to spend time with family and friends. Also, my husband and I were in the process of moving our furniture and belongings from our former Vienna apartment to our San Diego house. We were very much looking forward to having the European Chic in our house. The international moving company was hired, the boxes already picked up. How much better could it get? I was grateful, very grateful. Things were in flow. Fortunate us.

Then, one day before the sea freight container was to be loaded, I realized that I still had not received the promised insurance paper from our Austrian moving company. All day I had tried to reach her - without success. All 3 telephone numbers I had stayed unanswered. No e-mails from them in my inbox. So, in that night it occured to me that the big chunk of money had changed hands already (that´s how they do it in that line of work) and they had driven off with all of our belongings. Could it be a scam? Could they be that good? I started to doubt the good feeling I had had with them. My phantasy was taking off and was getting as dark as the night was.

It is very unusual for me not to be able to sleep. I felt highjacked by my own imagination. After a while of rolling around in bed I got my composure back. I asked myself what was really wrong in reality? I had all kinds of worst case possibilities, but had not looked at the likelyhood of them being the case. I had also not looked at all the reasons why that was not likely to be the case. I went through all off that and came to the conclusion that there must be something going on that I did not know and that was not anything out of my "worries box".

I also remembered that it is not always personal, not always about me. True, it is unusual not to reach anyone from a company anymore after handing over the money, when the availability had been perfect before. But does it have to be my worst idea?

During those dark hours I learned a lot. I was very happy that I made that reality check and that I found my faith again. I even got to the point where I realized that my peace of mind was worth more than any belongings and money. A day lost and not lived can never be replaced. Money and things always can be.

The next day I learned that the family business was in uproar for a day, because the father of one of the partners had had a bad car accident. I understood. I also learned my lesson. It felt good to be able to calm myself down in difficult times. True, we don´t always know the people we are dealing with, but I prefer and choose to have a trusting, while alert, way of approaching others. If I see thieves everywhere, I might find them everywhere. And if I see helpful and reliable people everywhere, I just might as well find them everywhere as well.

I think that it is deeply ingrained in us to protect ourselves. But if that tendencie becomes too tight and almost paranoid, it reaches the point where it harms us and keeps us from oportunities rather than protect us. It is wise to know the difference and keep checking, where the border lies again and again.

Information, then Follow Through

I have recently been at a psychology convention with an abundant program. For 4 whole days I have been satisfying my brain with lecture after lecture. I got inspired, and I had many an idea for my on business, for my own clients. I could barely wait to get back home to my office and start incorporating the newly learned things and developing the newly concocted ideas. Two weeks later, the pile of info material still has not made its way into my filing cabinet, and I myself was busy catching up from having been gone. I remembered that studies show that we only incorporate 20 % of what we learn new, into our lives. But with coaching, this rate goes up to 80 %.

Studies show that this is a very normal scenario for any kind of education. Naturally and by ourselves, we end up incorporating only up to 20 per cent of what we have learned at a conference, an education, even a highly priced training program. 20 per cent that is, if we are extremely motivated. Whereas 20 per cent are still change in the right direction, I could see people being unhappy about the news, especially after spending thousands of Dollars for education for a new career path or the like.

So, how can we change this low incorporation rate and make it a big and noticeable, beneficial change? It has been shown in studies that the most efficient way to guarantee a high incorporation rate is to hire a coach. Within the coaching relationship there is time and space for the phase of "Follow Through". The new goals can be laid out and broken down into smaller steps. The incorporation can happen naturally and powerfully and in full alignment with the person´s own life and goals.

Well, such a clear outcome of a study is quite convincing. But I tend to want to find out for myself. For the last two years I have had a coach for myself. Half a year ago I hired a second one for an isolated, very specific area in my life. I am very impressed with the experience of this "Follow Through" potential during coaching. In general, I am an idea person. I never lack the most unusual or also most elaborate and thought through ideas. During these two years with my coach I was able to finally witness, how some of my life long dreams finally took shape. I went to selected educations for inspiration (much like I always used to do), except now I finally did something with it afterwards. It is the most amazing process to be part of. It creates an overall feeling of being in charge of an responsible for my own life and actively creating the life I always dreamed of leading.

So now, the info material piles are gone and ready to serve as a reference, whenever I need it. I got a system in place for that, one that actually works for me. This is also a result of my work with my coach. Next time you go to get education for something that is important to you, ask yourself if you want to go back home and barely use a fifth of it or if you want to make a high impact with it on your life. It is certainly doable. Enjoy!